


10 Little-Known Facts About Steve Rogers

by kyaticlikestea



Series: 10 Things [1]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: 10 Things, Comedy, Domestic Avengers, Drabble, Established Relationship, Ficlet, Fluff, Humor, Humour, M/M, Romance, Schmoop, Stony - Freeform, friendship fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-13
Updated: 2012-07-13
Packaged: 2017-11-09 21:50:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/458835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyaticlikestea/pseuds/kyaticlikestea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since the team moved into Avengers Tower, Tony has learnt quite a few things about Steve Rogers. Here are just ten of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	10 Little-Known Facts About Steve Rogers

  1. Despite his usual reluctance to offend anyone, Steve is the one Avenger who has no qualms about using Tony’s arc reactor as some sort of grotesque parody of a night-light. Natasha says it’s gross, but then she eats cabbage and beetroot soup, so she can’t talk. Bruce says it’s a gross misappropriation of a marvellous piece of technology. Steve isn’t 100% sure of what that means. All Tony knows is that sometimes, when the nightmares are worse than usual or the day’s mission was particularly bloody, Steve will stay up until the early hours of the morning, catching up on modern literature – he’s halfway through George Orwell’s back catalogue now and is looking forward to beginning on Harry Potter. Tony has banned him from attempting Twilight – or sketching, all by the pale electric blue of the machine that powers Tony’s heart.  
  

  2. Steve is definitely JARVIS’ favourite. Tony has tried to deny this for months, but to no avail. Whenever Tony attempts to bring up conversational topics such as the weather or Clint’s ridiculous fondness for overly tight pants, JARVIS responds with short answers in a clipped tone that means ‘I would rather be implementing surveillance on the third floor bathroom than answering these questions’. Tony should know; he programmed that voice, modelled it on his father after a long day of failed experiments. However, on the first day he took residence in the newly named Avengers Tower, Steve swanned into the main living room, flopped down on the couch and announced that he had just been subjected to a James Cameron marathon by Clint and was unsure as to his true feelings about Titanic, and JARVIS had excitedly begun a monologue about the merits of historical accuracy above dramatisation. Tony was sure that he would have a heart attack were it not for the arc reactor.  
  

  3. Steve’s bake-offs with Thor are legendary. The first time it happened, they had been arguing about Asgardian cuisine versus American food. As soon as it looked like it was going to descend into a brawl that would make a bartender proud – which Thor definitely would have won, although Steve insists that they’re matched evenly in physical combat – Natasha suggested that they take it to the kitchen. Thor had narrowly beaten Steve with his Asgardian honey cakes. Steve’s brownies couldn’t quite match up. Since then, every time the two men have disagreed, they’ve donned their manliest aprons – Thor’s reads ‘kiss the chef’, a gift from Jane, and Steve’s is printed with ‘star-spangled man with a plan’, a gift from Tony – and got down to it. Clearly making up for his initial failure, Steve’s current success rate is approximately 78%. The Avengers won’t be forgetting Thor’s mutton cakes any time soon.  
  

  4. Steve owns merchandise based on every Avenger, except himself. He sleeps in an Iron Man t-shirt, which is a little too meta for Tony’s tastes. He hasn’t got used to waking up to an image of his face. Steve argues Tony should just stop falling asleep with his head on Steve’s chest, but Tony’s pretty sure he doesn’t mean it. He also owns a pair of Hulk slippers, a Thor baseball cap (which Tony expressly bans him from wearing in public), a Black Widow keychain and a Hawkeye hoodie. On the few occasions he’s argued with the Avengers and can’t settle it with a tactfully placed tray of cookies, he tends to wear the corresponding item of merchandise. The time he accidentally accused Natasha of being a Communist and she refused to speak to him for a week? Solved as soon as she saw his keychain.  
  

  5. Despite the initially serious and stoic impression that people inevitably make of him, Steve is an excellent prankster. Thor finds this hilarious and the two of them are frequently in cahoots. Tony puts up with this because hey, it’s funny to see Clint walking round with a sign saying ‘do not feed the birds’ stuck to his back, but the day he goes into his bedroom and finds that they’ve somehow managed to convince JARVIS – he’s pretty sure that all Steve had to do was bat his eyelashes – to turn the sprinklers on, soaking all his possessions, he puts his foot down. Well, he actually just paints Mjolnir pink and coats Steve’s shield in glitter, but he thinks he gets his message across.  
  

  6. Steve is insistent that the Avengers treat Phil and Fury as honorary members of their secret boyband, a title that Natasha finds hilarious as she’s secretly thrilled at being considered ‘one of the bros’. As such, every time the Avengers decide to go for shawarma or veg out in front of a rom-com with pizza, Steve invites the older agents. So far, Fury has declined every time. Coulson has made two appearances, but the second time he attended, Clint and Natasha took it in turns to throw pepperoni at his head. He declined the third invitation and every other one since. Tony drew the line when he invited Steve for fondue and Steve texted Coulson. Thankfully, Coulson declined, but still relentlessly teases Steve about that time he invited him over for a threesome. Steve will deny this under oath.  
  

  7. Steve is the only one who knows how to properly deal with Bruce when he hulks out at really inconvenient times (ie every time he hulks out). The first time it happened, everyone went completely apeshit. Clint hid in the vents. Tony hid under the couch. Natasha definitely didn’t hide, but did somehow end up in a wardrobe. Thor ran to find Jane and hide behind her. Steve, however, calmly led the Hulk over to the couch – which has since been reinforced with concrete and steel – and switched on the television. After a few minutes, it was discovered that the Hulk is partial to the Jerry Springer show, although he can never work out who the real father is.  
  

  8. Steve really isn’t the killjoy that everyone thinks he is, and Tony thought he was. He’s perfectly willing to join in on poker night, although he never wins as he’s horrible at it and there’s really no beating Natasha, and gamely agrees to keep score whenever Bruce and Tony play Trivial Pursuit. Tony’s pretty sure he tends to add a couple of points to him, but he’d never ask.  
  

  9. He also isn’t the naive special snowflake that people seem to believe he is. He’s not going to win any special extrovert prize any time soon, but he’s not a wilting wallflower any more. He’s perfectly aware that, since the serum, his physical appearance is generally considered to be more than acceptable – ‘pretty damn fine’ are the words Clint used after three beers – and is absolutely not above using this fact to get what he wants. If Tony is reluctant to attend a particular charity event that Steve wants to go to – which is _all_ of them, because Steve will never get over the excitement at being invited – Steve is able to use his tactical brilliance to time his showers to the exact moment when Tony will be in the next room. For a man of such tactical prowess, however, he appears to be terrible at remembering to bring a towel into the bathroom, and always seems to leave it in the same room that Tony’s in. Of course, Tony is totally wise to Steve’s plans, but hey, it’s not like he gets nothing out of it.  
  

  10. Steve is an appalling dancer. Genuinely atrocious. His lack of co-ordination from his days as a stick insect from Brooklyn is still evident in the way his two left feet stumble around the dance floor. Tony finds this both hilarious and endearing. Steve is completely aware of this and whenever Tony is pissed off or upset about something (usually a malfunctioning robot and definitely not the lingering effects of his malfunctioning father-son relationship), Steve can usually be found with Tony in the basement, Maroon 5 playing on a reluctant JARVIS, Steve falling over his own ankles and Tony in hysterics. The New York Times once ran an interview with Steve in which it was claimed that Captain America could dance like Frank Sinatra. Tony has sellotaped this article to the fridge. If anyone asks him why, he says he just likes to make Steve squirm, but anyone who sees the little jig Steve does whenever he sees it and the subsequent crinkling around Tony’s eyes knows that that isn’t entirely true.




End file.
